"MOVE, YOU FASCIST!"




I Am:
25 years old, a college dropout, an ex-English major and Psychology minor, a bad lesbian, awkwardly friendly, subtle like a supernova, damn near impossible to offend, dating a Dr.-Manhattan-Grumpy-Mathematician-Master-Assassin-Vulcan-Elf-Princess, a Gryffindor, a spazz, easily excitable, overprotective, fandom-oriented, probably more stubborn than I should be, a romantic, a geek, a nerd, a dweeb

You Can Call Me:
Kelty, Jude, Jimmy, Special K, Freak, Weirdo, that girl there, or any and all fandom-applicable nicknames that fit my personality, because who am I to deny.

The People You Need to Know
(If You Want to Get to Know Me):

KENDRA (my girlfriend)
EMILY (my best friend)
BLISS (my soulbuddy)
RIOT (my bratty little sister)
CODY (my adopted e-son)
MADDIE (my little princess)

#omg pls you are that wife that waits at home all day for her husband and when he’s two minutes late you start getting CRANKY

(Source: theplushbear, via enochiandirtytalk)



Is it weird that I get all excited about the fact that Jesse Eisenberg says my bra size? 

I don’t think that’s normal. It doesn’t realy make sense. Especially since he insults it.

I’M MORE WOMAN THAN YOU COULD HANDLE, HONEY.



Ug, I’m listening to everyone else’s audioposts while mine uploads and everyone sounds so ~cute, and I sound like a man. XD 

MY VOICE IS SO FREAKING DEEP, SERIOUSLY.

ALSO I SOUND DRUNK WHAT IS THIS.

GOD THIS IS EMBARRASSING.



 snapesgrudge replied to your post:In almost every sense, I am a complete narcissist.
Stop being Jesse Eisenberg. Wait, Kelty. What if you are actually him, but you’re just posing as a different person. THIS IS THE INTERNET NO ONE WOULD EVER KNOW. OMG THAT’S HOW YOU KNOW YOU’RE A PESCETARIAN. YOU’RE ACTUALLY JESSE EISENBERG.

I ASK MYSELF THIS OFTEN, BUT THEN I LOOK IN THE MIRROR.
NO SUCH LUCK, BRO.
ALSO, I HAD WENDY’S FOR LUNCH. I will only give up burgers after we wed.

 snapesgrudge replied to your post:In almost every sense, I am a complete narcissist.

Stop being Jesse Eisenberg. Wait, Kelty. What if you are actually him, but you’re just posing as a different person. THIS IS THE INTERNET NO ONE WOULD EVER KNOW. OMG THAT’S HOW YOU KNOW YOU’RE A PESCETARIAN. YOU’RE ACTUALLY JESSE EISENBERG.

I ASK MYSELF THIS OFTEN, BUT THEN I LOOK IN THE MIRROR.

NO SUCH LUCK, BRO.

ALSO, I HAD WENDY’S FOR LUNCH. I will only give up burgers after we wed.



So I have a job interview tomorrow and it’s 4am. 

Obviously, continuing to write fic is the best course of action, here.



RICKY GERVAIS, YOU ARE THE GREATEST BEING ALIVE. WHY ARE YOU NOT IN MY LIFE. WE COULD SNARK TOGETHER FOREVER OVER TEA. 



I shouldn’t be allowed on the Internet.